nursing homes are one of the saddest places earth. seeing those who have experienced so much, and have loved with no limitations, suffer is even more than devastating. the doctors put you on the same medicine as the others, and they just expect the patients to pass away and recieve more. it’s such an unsettling feeling to witness truly beautiful people be treated like trash. i love my grandma as much as the flowers love the sun. i’ve never seen her so weak and fearful for the future. she was constantly tearing up, and you could tell she was about to start bawling but didn’t for the sake of her child and granddaughter. the poor woman doesn’t even know what happened to her. seeing the ones you love be put through horrid things and not being able to do anything about it crushes you. she’s my only grandparent left, and i can’t imagine her.. gone. i am heartbroken beyond the millions of words in the english language. we’re striving for land but only sinking more into the water. and to think that could be the last time i ever see her.. i love you, peggy beideman.